me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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