I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
