You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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