Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
