Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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