My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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