it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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