Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
