also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
