I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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