i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
