road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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