How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We left the knife in your bed.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
