omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
