I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
