my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
