Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Pooping to opera.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
