operation harelip BJ is a go
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
