That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
