So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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