It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
