im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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