Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Randomize
