I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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