Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize