i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
