thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
