If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
