Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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