remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
