My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
