i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
So vagazzling was a success
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
