God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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