i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
