did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
