We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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