nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
