You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize