I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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