I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This is my gift to your gina
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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