she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
