I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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