Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
