Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
