Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
