were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
