If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
