The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
