i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We left an ass print on the piano.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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