Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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