would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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