i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
