she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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