so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
