Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
