with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
