Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
