Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
