I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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