her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
