worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
