im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
