You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
