I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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