I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Randomize
