In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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