as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
