I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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