I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He? As in you personified your dick?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
