Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
