No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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