I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize