I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
