The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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