...so i touched it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
