To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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