Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
