matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
