you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
