Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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