Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
